22:30

Have you ever been hurt? Or feel any wound on your body – when your hand accidentally touched something sharp and you were start bleeding, when you got fractured and you couldn't describe your pain? Have you ever thought you will not be so afraid to feel pain until you have felt it over and over again and became 100 %-ly immune?

It sounds strange, but honestly, I really want to feel all pains until I feel familiar with those feelings. The feeling inside and outside after you got hurt. I want to feel it more and more until I no longer be scared with my imagination of being hurt. Because, I inherently get hurt deep down there, and even my unconsciousness already learn how to bear it and just say, “Oh hi. You again. Let's do this together.”

Probably you will say I am crazy. Stupid. Masochist. Or Pathetic. Or perhaps you will understand this is a part of my internal system preventing myself for having a desire to kill "myself" inside.

I want to get hurt. So I can prepare myself whenever I suddenly got another injury, another pain. For example, for my heart. I want to get hurt. Simply because I am a human who have a capability to feel -- and find all emotions are worth to be conceived.

(people will love you and leave you and they give you an open scar.

you can heal that wound, or you can learn how to ignore the pain until it abates.)